Enraptured
by JstBreathe94
Summary: "Then she lifted her arms up over her head." This story will depict all the physical milestones between Cath and Levi since there is so much intimacy ambiguity in Fangirl. The first chapter picks up where one in the book ended when Cath was at Levi's. All future chapters will take place after the book. Rated M for mature content!
1. Chapter 1

**Everything in this story belongs to Rainbow Rowell!**

 **I had finished reading Fangirl not too long ago and the sexual tension between Levi and Cath was just killing me, so I'm filling in the blanks!**

 **This starts where one of the later chapters ends with Levi taking his shirt off in his room and Cath mentioning just needing to raise her arms to signal taking hers' off as well, so at the end of the chapter it mentions her raising her arms and then ends. So I'm picking up where it leaves off!**

 **Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

Then she lifted her arms up over her head and sent a shy smile toward Levi. He was always so caring, so patient with Cath and she loved that about him. Levi looked taken aback for a moment but quickly grasped the hem of Cath's shirt. He slowly lifted the fabric revealing inch by inch her cream colored body.

After tossing the shirt over the side of the bed, Levi looked at Cath's nearly bare body. Her skin looked flawless and smoother than any other surface humans could find on this Earth. An audible gulp from Levi echoed through the room while Cath's self-consciousness set in and she crossed her arms over her bra covered chest. She could feel insecurity rushing through her and lost just about all the momentum that lead to her to even allow this to happen. No one had seen her like this before, and she wasn't sure if she ever wanted anyone to ever again.

"I didn't- I shouldn't have…" Cath trailed off as she began to lean away from Levi and tried to untangled herself to climb off of his lap. Levi put one arm around her waist, pulling her back towards him and rested his other hand on the back of her head, making her look right into his beautiful eyes.

"You are beautiful." Levi breathed. "I was just momentarily stunned by the exquisite site of you."

A hot blush crept all the way up Cath's spine into her cheek bones and a shy smile spread across her face. Levi smiled along with her, of course. His eyes drifted back down to her body and came back up to lock with hers' once more. Levi moved his right hand from the back of Cath's head so that his fingertips were barely brushing her shoulder. The sensation sent a tingle down her spine and made her stomach do backflips.

"May I?" Levi asked softly. He was not currently smiling so his eyes were taking up his face, making his question sound innocent and showing his sincerity for Cath's comfort. She nodded. Levi let out a ragged breath he seemed to be holding in, his eyes moved down Cath's body and his hand quickly followed suit.

All of Cath's nerves were on end and high alert. Her skin seemed extra sensitive in this moment of intimacy. Levi's fingers left a trail of fire in their wake and they made Cath want more.

His hands first brushed down her shoulder to her clavicle. Levi slowly and gently brushed and traced along her collarbone. He then pressed his fingers and palm onto her skin and ran it down her sternum, careful not to touch any surface of her breasts that were peeking out of her bra. Levi's breathing hitched and picked up slightly as he switched back to just his fingertips brushing over Cath's rib cage on either side of her body.

" _Cath…_ " Levi exhaled, it almost sounded like his voice was caressing her name just as his hand was doing to her fiery skin. After drawing patterns over her skin with his fingers, Levi looked back into Cath's eyes.

"You're radiant." Levi said seriously. He had dropped the smile for majority of this moment they were sharing. "Please let me know if I'm going too fast?"

Cath could see in Levi's eyes that he really, _really_ , wanted to go fast. Fuck, Cath wanted to go just as fast and be just as lost in and devoured by him as he did with her. But she was scared. Cath knew she wanted to have sex with Levi, but now was not the time. The day would happen and Cath realized that she wanted that day to be soon, just not tonight.

"I will." Cath did not realize how heavy she was breathing until she tried to form words. She barely made that simple sentence happen. She knew where she was going to draw the line tonight, but she was ecstatic and overly pleased with the simple fact that she was having this effect on Levi. That she, nerdy fangirl Cath, could make Levi this happy, this _satisfied._

Right after Cath's answer, Levi secured her legs around him and quickly flipped them so that he was now on top. They did not use this position often. Cath on top helped both of them keep their cool, keep control.

Cath gasped at the sudden change in position and Levi quickly looked up into her eyes, checking in on her, making sure she was alright, as he always does. Cath nodded, signaling him to go on. God, she really wanted him to go on.

But first, some kissing. Levi's lips met Cath's and she was brought back to the first kiss on her bed. His lips were just as soft and supple as they had been that night. Instead of feeling nervous about kissing Levi, which Cath normally would overthink, she felt secure, safe even. She felt like she belonged there, like that they both belonged there with each other. Their mouths opened and mingled together, moving in perfect harmony. Levi would occasionally slide his tongue across Cath's lip and hum at the satisfaction of just being on her mouth.

Cath could feel herself enjoying everything too much. Maybe she didn't have to wait for the perfect moment with Levi to make itself known, maybe now was the perfect moment? It would be like how she wrote scenes for Simon and Baz's first times, spontaneous. The night that would eventually happen, could just be tonight.

All of a sudden, Cath felt Levi shift and could feel more of his body weight being put into his pelvic area, pushing into hers'. Levi's breathing was getting heavier and his hand on her thigh was squeezing tighter. The sudden shift in atmosphere made all of Cath's fears, anxieties, and insecurities come shooting back into her body.

"Stop!"

Levi froze instantly. He jerked his head back quickly to look at Cath. They looked into the others' eyes and let their breathing begin to even out.

"I'm sorry, Levi..." Cath began. Her outburst had her feeling embarrassed and she could feel herself already blushing like crazy. Levi was slowly pulling away from her. His face was slightly flushed but the hazy look in his eyes was starting to clear up.

"No, Cather, I'm sorry. We didn't set any rules and I should have asked." Cath knew he was being sincere but there was a tinge of pain on his face that showed how much he didn't want to stop. The look made Cath's stomach hurt. Why couldn't she just be like Simon and Baz, or Wren, and just suck it up when it came to sex.

Levi and Cath were now sitting across from each other on the bed. Cath felt her breathing return to normal and could tell that Levi was slowly coming down and getting back to normal as well.

"Levi, don't apologize." Cath stared at her hands as she spoke. "That was amazing, I almost didn't want to stop."

Cath was feeling more and more embarrassed about her actions. If she hadn't said anything, they could've been having sex at this very moment. She would get that special bond with Levi. She would be doing that for him.

"Wait, wh- "Levi started, shaking his head.

"I'm scared." Cath cut him off, hiding her face with her hands. Levi's famous smile came back onto his face.

"Cather, what is there to be scared of? It's just me!" Levi said empathetically.

"Exactly! You're older, more experienced. I'm afraid of messing it up, making it horrible for you." Cath admitted, face still in her hands. She felt Levi's fingers wrap around her wrists and pull her hands away. His smiling face looking directly into her own.

"Being anywhere near you physically makes me the happiest guy alive, Cather. Any experience, emotionally or physically, will be nothing short of beautiful to me." Levi declared to her with full sincerity.

Cath smiled just as wide as Levi was and even giggled.

The two got ready for bed and slid under the covers. Cath laid on her left side with Levi snuggling up right behind her and his arm wrapping around her torso. Cath had never been one for spooning. She and Abel rarely cuddled so Cath summed it up to her just not liking cuddling, but that was not the case. Cath loved snuggling up to Levi. She felt safe, warm, and loved.

"Good night, sweetheart." Levi soothed into her ear before placing a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"Good night."

Cath swore in that moment that she would do whatever it took to make Levi just as happy as he made her. She knew she'd have to work her way up to sex, but she swore that she would get there eventually. In that moment, Cath wanted nothing more than for Levi to be the one to hold that precious gift from her forever.

 **Author's Note**

 **P.S. I might write more chapters about the other stages in advancing their sexual relationship. The rest would take place after the book ends so it will not interfere with the story.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing, everything belongs to Rainbow Rowell!**

During Cath and Levi's last fight, Levi had mentioned only 14 days left until the two would be separated. During that time, assignments were finished and turned in, the last Simon Snow book hit the shelves, and now the last of those 14 days was tomorrow. Tomorrow Mr. Avery would make the drive from Omaha and collect his two daughters, the family of three would have the whole summer together.

Cath could barely think about what would happen tomorrow or what she would do all summer. There would be no classes, no assignments, no more writing for _Carry On_. Although, as freeing as thinking of the summer is for every college student, Cath could only think of tonight, the last night.

It was the last night she would get to be attached to campus, attached to Levi. It was the last night they would get to be alone together. Cath and Levi had barely been separated since getting together and now they would have to go days or even weeks without being physically together.

Cath thought back to that same fight, when Levi mentioned the last 14 days they had, to when he also said how he couldn't stand being away from her for even 9 hours. Cath had never been one for missing people. She didn't miss Abel when he went away to a college so far from her, but the thought of even going several days without a trademark Levi smile made her stomach hurt. Cath put all these thoughts behind her and focused solely on tonight. She was currently sprawled out with Levi across his bed. Both were completely full from the dinner they had just eaten at the Mexican restaurant just outside of town. The Mexican food was never as good in Lincoln, but it was satisfying enough for Cath.

"I am so full, that food was absolutely delicious!" Levi grinned at the ceiling. They really had a great time tonight. Cath had a warm and fuzzy feeling in her chest ever since Levi had picked her up for the evening. She was pretty sure it was her body absorbing and taking in as much of Levi tonight as possible.

"Yeah, it was really great." Cath agreed absentmindedly. She was not so much thinking of the food as staring at Levi's profile. Cath tried to commit his face to memory, not wanting to forget a single bump or mole while they had to be apart. Levi turned his face away from the ceiling and focused on Cath, his smile somehow getting bigger and wider.

"What are you thinking about, Cather?" Levi asked her. Cath answered truthfully before thinking it over.

"About tomorrow…" Cath practically mumbled. She really didn't want to be the one to dampen the mood, so she scooted the last few inches between the two until she was curled up to Levi's side. He threw his arm around her and squeezed her closer. Cath could feel and hear him sigh.

"The night is still young, sweetheart. There's still lots of time together. Should we embark on an adventure?" Excitement crept into Levi's offer, always up for adventure, but Cath wanted to stay in, she had a game plan for this night. Plus, they had all summer just for adventures. This was their last chance for a while for them to just be Cath and Levi, hidden away together in his tower of a bedroom.

Cath decided to take the lead and climbed on top of Levi. He was still laying on his back so she rested her chest onto his own. She began to lightly trace his jawline with her nose.

"The night _is_ still young." Cath repeated, whispering into Levi's neck. He hummed and moved his face to put his mouth directly on Cath's. His hands went directly to Cath's waist, his fingers playing with the hem of her t-shirt while Cath's hands flew to his hair.

The two of them did not do anything like this too often. Cath was content most of the time just talking with Levi and enjoying his company. Levi always seemed content with the conversation as well, but as soon their mouths were on each other's and open, Cath could always tell just how much he yearned for this kind of intimacy. She knew that the tempo they were taking everything was hard on him, Levi is a guy after all, a guy who has had this kind of experience before. Feeling the shift in his energy, his eagerness, gave Cath a pang of guiltiness every time. He was so willing to put himself aside just to make Cath comfortable. Levi could easily go out and charm another girl into having sex with him right then and there, but he chose Cath. He chose to stick by her, to fight for her, to love her, to wait for her.

Cath knew tonight, the last night, was the perfect time to take everything to a new level. It wouldn't be the biggest jump ever, but in her mind it was a huge deal and she knew Levi wasn't expecting anything just yet.

She let her lips drift away from Levi's and brushed them down and along his neck, reaching where the neck met the shoulder and bit down gently on the spot.

Cath had written plenty of love scenes between Simon and Baz. She had always written the tender moans shared between the two as musical notes creating an orchestra of affection around the two characters. The noise, the _moan_ , Levi let out after that small bite resonated with Cath unlike any other noise before. It was less of a musical melody and more like a Siren's call. A call to draw Cath in, to show her how much he wanted this, wanted her. It was a call of encouragement to let her know to keep going.

In a swift movement, Cath grabbed onto Levi's shirt and tugged, tossing it to the ground. Levi made an effort to latch back onto Cath, but she was already moving off of him and the bed. Cath stood up and took a few steps, turning around and facing away from Levi.

"Cath? I'm sorry! If I'm going too fast please let me know, we'll stop immediately. You just need to tell- " Levi was cutoff when he noticed that Cath was slowly removing her own shirt. As Cath let go of the fabric and let it flutter to the ground her hands went up to the hooks of her white, lacy bra.

The faintest of gasps escaped Levi's lips, but Cath still heard and it gave her some courage and guaranteed that she was doing the right thing. Cath easily undid the clasp and held the cups to her breasts, moving around to face Levi once more.

Love, admiration, and lust were all that was evident in his larger than life, blue eyes. He was now sitting on the edge of the bed with his feet planted on the floor. Cath glided over to him and straddled his lap as she always does, but this time was so much _more_ than all the others.

Levi delicately held either of Cath's bra straps between his thumb and forefinger of each hand.

"Are you sure?" He asked looking directly into Cath's eyes, the look was practically piercing through her soul.

"Yes." Cath managed to breath out in response.

Slowly, Levi slide the straps to now rest on Cath's upper arm. He then proceeded to slide them down her arm until they were at her wrists, guiding the piece of clothing over her hands and discarding the bra to the unknown that was his floor. The whole room, the whole universe seemed as if it simply did not exist anymore. There was only Cath, Levi, and this moment. This moment that was like fire, like a lightning storm occurring between their two bodies. And it was all that existed.

Levi looked at Cath and her now bare chest with a look of wonder and admiration. The gaze he was casting on her, plus all the love radiating from him, made Cath's self-consciousness and doubt melt away. She felt like the only person Levi had ever seen in this way. She felt like the most beautiful girl in the world.

Levi cautiously, slowly raised his right hand and smoothed the back of it over the side of Cath's left breast.

"So soft, so smooth, so beautiful." Levi placed his hand just below her breast, feeling Cath's heartbeat. Wrapping his arms around her, Levi pulled Cath in to place his mouth on hers'. As soon as their bare chests connected, it was Cath's turn to gasp softly into Levi's lips. The spark of their chests meeting was enough to make her want more.

As their lips continued to move and dance, Levi caressed Cath's fully exposed back, running his hands down her spine and back up again.

When Cath moved her hands to the back of Levi's head, tangling her fingers in his hair, she was rewarded with another magical moan, her siren's call telling her to come closer and keep going.

Soon Levi's hands settled on her waist, squeezing every now and then to remind Cath of their presence, his lips drifted away from her mouth and towards her neck. Soft kisses were placed down the side of Cath's neck and another row of them were placed along her collarbone. She was practically panting at this point. Cath offhandedly wondered how people with asthma managed to do any of this, she felt that if Levi continued to touch her that she would eventually pass out from lack of oxygen.

The tender kisses moved down to her breasts. Levi sent a quick look back at Cath for one more check-in for approval, she nodded. He groaned, moaned, and sighed it seemed all at the same time as he took her right nipple into his mouth. Cath gasped again. She and Abel never went beyond kissing so everything tonight was uncharted territory for her. Now she knew that she wanted all that uncharted territory to be explored and discovered by no one other than Levi. Her inexperience originally scared her about intimacy, but now all she wanted was to feel this amazing and alive with this wonderful, caring man for as long as she could.

Levi continued to lick and suck at her right nipple while his hand went to the left breast and massaged it gently. He was going as if in a pattern with his mouth; kiss, suck, lick. The consistency was making Cath's nerves explode, an unfamiliar feeling deep in the pit of her stomach was now burning deep within her. Levi switched his mouth and hand to the other nipple; kiss, suck, lick. Cath grabbed at the hair on the back of Levi's head while she buried her face into the top of his head. She moaned quietly into his soft, fine bed of hair. Her own moan seemed to work Levi up even more.

Levi moved his face away from her breasts and brought it back to Cath's neck, licking, kissing, and gently sucking on it.

"Oh god, _Cath_ …" Levi wrapped his arms around her again, squeezing her body into his, and grinded his pelvic area into Cath's. It continued like this for a while, lips smashing and dancing together, a gentle nip to the neck, hot and wet mouth to a breast, Levi lightly grinding his groin toward Cath. It may have only been a few minutes or a full hour, time meant nothing anymore.

Cath suddenly became very aware to Levi's lap area. It was formerly a mysterious phenomenon, but now she could not ignore the growing hardness underneath her. A bulge had started to form in Levi's lap and she knew that if she didn't end this soon that there would be no turning back. It killed her to have to end this, she wanted to damn her virginity to hell. She still was not quite ready.

She lifted her face away from Levi's and placed her hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him a few inches away. His blue eyes looked clouded and lost at first but she watched them eventually come into focus. They were both panting madly and needed more than a minute to catch their breath.

With a deep inhale, a hand running through his already messy hair, and a monstrous exhale. Levi focused back on Cath and smiled.

"Cather, we should probably get up. And please put your shirt back on, I want to be a gentleman but it's making me want something else." Levi was smiling but it was a tight smile and his voice sounded strained. Cath could also see that he was trying hard to not look back down at her still naked chest.

"Oh, right..." Cath mumbled and jumped up to find her shirt as a blush crept onto her cheeks. She could hear Levi stirring around on the bed behind her, most likely putting pajamas on. Cath decided to go for a bedtime look as well and settled on one of Levi's t-shirts she found and slid her jeans off. She didn't need them for cover since his shirts always came down to almost her knees. Before Cath could turn around, Levi had wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his chest into her back while he hugged her. He took a deep breath in and out, Cath did the same, relishing in his scent that was encircled her, absorbing her.

"I love you, Cather." Levi crooned into her ear. A giggle escaped Cath's lips as his breath tickled her neck.

"And I love you, Levi." Cath replied, turning around in his arms to give him a proper embrace. She was glad that she was starting to get used to the waters of the more mature side of their relationship but was still glad that through it all, Levi was still Levi. Still just as caring, considerate, and just plain fucking nice.

The room suddenly whooshed around Cath as Levi lifted her bridal style and brought her over to the bed. They nestled under the covers and held each other closely.

"I don't want this to end." Cath admitted. She was currently drawing invisible patterns on Levi's forearm with her fingers. Looking into his eyes right after the night they've shared would be too much for her heart to handle knowing that their indefinite separation began tomorrow.

"Neither do I." Levi responded, nuzzling his face more into Cath's hair. "But I will do everything in my power to see you as much as I possibly can, my dear Cather."

Cath let out a single, breathy laugh. It was more just for a reaction to what Levi was saying so that she wouldn't cry, like she wanted to. Levi placed his hand on her chin and lifted her face to look at him.

"I'm serious. There's nothing I want more than to take every moment of your time while you have so much of it. I would kill to have as much free time as the summer gives us while at school." Levi was looking into her eyes intensely. Piercing her soul once again. "Whenever I possibly can, I _will_ be there."

The words and emotions combined were too much for Cath. She had begun to tear up at the beginning of Levi's speech, but was near opening the floodgates status when she realized Levi's were becoming a little glossy as well. To help them both keep it together, Cath snuggled her face into Levi's chest. This allowed a break and a moment for them both to control their emotions.

Both of them wanted to stay in that moment.

Both of them were scared about the summer that stretched ahead of them.

But both were determined to make this whole thing work, come hell or high water.


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing, everything belongs to Rainbow Rowell!**

2 weeks.

Cath had kept repeating it in her head since the moment the car pulled away from Pound Hall.

2 weeks. 2 weeks was all she had to wait, to survive, before seeing Levi in person again. Sure there are phone calls, texting, and video chats, but none of them could properly show Levi's friendly face or radiate the familiar warmth that came along with him. Cath knew she would miss him as soon as summer break began, but nothing prepared her for just how much she would miss him. It was like going through a dark cave without a flashlight, like swimming in deep waters without a life preserve. Missing him gave the constant feeling of uneasiness, of anxiousness. Cath hated it.

She hated how much she now depended on him. How much she felt like all those other damsels in distress in almost every story who would just wait around for their man. Cath had always wanted the girls to just get over their relationship and be their own heroes, but here she was, waiting for her knight in shining armor to be with her and make everything okay again.

Things back at home were not horrible. Wren and Cath were getting along as if all the drama from their first year never happened. Their dad was on a solid streak and no signs of an episode happening soon. Everything was just as Cath had wanted it to be a year ago. Except now, it felt like Cath wasn't fully there. She _wanted_ things to be different, to be back at school.

2 weeks.

Cath was only a week in.

Seven full days had passed without Levi's warm hugs and soft lips. Seven days down, and seven more to go. Cath and Levi had an almost near consistent schedule of visiting each other every other weekend. They were going to tradeoff between their two homes. The first weekend was to be spent at Levi's. Cath was finally going to meet the famous Marlisse.

"Yo!" Wren greeted cheerfully as she entered their shared room. Cath was currently cross-legged on her bed with her beloved laptop in her lap. "What do you say to some fro-yo in a little bit?"

Wren had been very socially with Cath since she had come back from school. Since leaving campus, Wren was only really hanging out with high school friends, Jandro, and Cath. It was a nice, warm welcome back into the world of Wren. Although sometimes it was a little too much going out for Cath's liking. They had only been at home for a week and the two had already gone to the movies, several taco trucks, and the bookstore almost once a day.

"Sure. What else do we really have to live for?" Cath replied, closing all the unnecessary tabs on her computer screen.

"Wow, someone's feeling a little morbid." Wren gave Cath's shoulder a playful shove. "But I don't blame you. Living without Levi and _Carry On_? How are you ever coping?"

It was true. _Carry On_ as the biggest commitment of Cath's life and had been over for about 2 weeks now. The only other deep investment Cath had made in her life was her relationship with Levi, and now she had neither to occupy her time. Cath sighed.

"I feel like I've read every fic known to Snow. Maybe I'll start writing a new one?" Cath scratched the back of her neck. She really needed a new project to fill her time for the summer. Cath could only call Levi at certain times, since he had to work on the farm during majority of the day-time hours, which left a lot of free time. Normally Cath would work on the latest _Carry On_ chapter, but that was over. She was trying to cope with her life after finishing her longest, most critically acclaimed piece.

"Putting up a new fic so close to the closure of _Carry On_? That's a ballsy move. Your fans will be happy, but the critics might be pretty harsh." Wren made a good point.

"How's Jandro?" Cath asked, wanting to change the subject away from her currently empty life. Wren's face lit up at the mention of Jandro. The two girls had spent almost every night for the past week gushing about their respective boys. Wren was now all caught up on everything that happened the past first year with Cath and Levi. Cath was also caught up and knew just how serious her sister actually was with Jandro, he really was different than any other guy she's been with before.

Wren gushed about her boyfriend and the latest updates on his life for a few minutes before dramatically sighing and falling into her bed. Cath powered down her computer and shut it.

"Okay, let's go get some fro-yo." Cath proclaimed. Wren happily jumped up and cheered.

The sun was setting and evening was quickly approaching; which meant one thing for Cath, Levi would be calling soon. The free days of summer quickly set a routine for Cath. She would sleep in, wake up to a good morning text from Levi, spend the day with Wren, have family dinner at 6, then by 7 she would finally get her phone call. The couple would always talk for at least an hour, usually two. The schedule was also similar for Wren. Jandro worked during the day as well but had more freedom to text Wren almost constantly, he too would call in the evening after dinner. The sisters, in order to regain the lost time from their freshman year, had planned the same schedule with their respective boyfriends. Wren saw Jandro every other weekend, the same weekends that Cath would see Levi. They made sure that which city they were in would alternate as well, so that their father would never be alone on the weekends, he'd always have some kind of company.

But Wren got to be luckier than Cath. Jandro didn't work Wednesdays and often had half-days, so she was going to see him more than Cath would get to see Levi.

Cath was practically bouncing on her bed, staring at the phone in her hands, waiting for it to ring. She was mentally going over everything that had happened today, making sure not to miss anything to tell Levi about when her ringtone began to echo through the room. The phone was to her ear in less than a second.

"Hey!" Cath greeted more cheerfully than she'd ever greeted someone before. Levi's laugh sounded through the phone, music to her ears.

"Well hello, Cather! Someone sounds pretty excited; did you miss me?" Levi sounded very amused. Cath could practically hear his smile through the phone.

"Shut up. So how's the farm?" Cath asked. This caused Levi to launch into an almost 15-minute story of what happened and recapping the lecture he got from his dad about which fertilizer is actually better for them to use.

"How did my dear Cather fair without me?"

Cath went through her mental list again.

"Not too much actually. I got up and hung around with Wren for most of the day, watching movies and just being online. We went out to get some frozen yogurt after lunch and then I just finished dinner with the family. Nothing as interesting as your dad's fertilizer debate." It was after Cath finished that she realized just how much she needed something new to spend her days on.

"Are your reviews still pouring in?" Levi asked, his voice full of curiosity.

"Surprisingly, yes! Everyone keeps telling me how they are constantly going back and forth between my story and the last book." She explained.

It really was amazing. _Carry On_ was a huge hit and people still loved it even with the release of the final book. The reviews that used to contain a reader's hopes and dreams for the final book were now comparisons of it to Cath's work. They were constantly saying which bits of information they wished were included in the other and so on. The fanfiction world was still very accepting of Cath's craft and some were starting to voice the need for a new story to read. It was calm right now, but she knew her fans would eventually get restless with summer and she would have to give them something new, and soon.

"But I know I'll need some new idea soon to keep them all interested." Cath sighed.

"That seems like a lot of work." Levi pointed out. "I mean, you _just_ finished this huge piece, are they honestly going to demand something new already?"

"They are very dedicated, you'd be surprised." Cath moved to lay down on her bed, using her pillow to hold the phone to her ear. "I might have a couple of ideas to build on…"

"Alright, enough about Snow." Levi changed the subject. "Let's talk about next weekend. I am so excited for you to come and visit."

Cath smiled involuntarily. Her smile was a borderline grin; she was so excited. Thinking about seeing Levi gave her a warm feeling all over.

"I'm excited too. Your mom is okay with me staying the night, right?" Cath asked for about the twentieth time since they made the plan. Sure, she and Levi were adults and in college, but his mom was still a very traditional, conservative woman.

"Unless you show signs of being the antichrist, she'll deal with it. Just don't say anything about the bible, if you start arguing with her, she'll throw you out." Levi laughed a little at the end, but Cath knew he was being serious.

"Let's stop talking about my mom." Levi changed the subject again. "I _really_ can't wait to see you Cather, to kiss you again."

A blush shot up Cath's spine and spilled onto her face. As soon as Levi said the word 'kiss', she immediately got flashbacks of their last night together. It had been wonderful, almost dream-like. As much as Cath wanted to do it all over again, or maybe even more, she knew that wouldn't happen at Levi's house. She was pretty sure they were sleeping in separate rooms and knew that alone time would be minimal this weekend.

"Yeah, it'll be nice?" It came out like a question. Cath felt lame. Levi chuckled at her lameness.

"I hope it'll be a little better than nice. If it's anything like last time, it will definitely blow nice out of the water." Levi's tone dropped as the sentence went on, turning from innocent to seductive. Cath's breath caught in her throat.

"Um…yeah. It'll be way better than nice." Cath tried her hardest to not let her voice waver, but it betrayed her. Levi breathed out a laugh.

"No worries, Cather. We won't tread the waters of sexy talk just yet." Cath hated how she could always pick up on the small sound of disappointment in his voice. "Like I've said before, we're moving on your dime."

Cath's stomach felt funny. She wanted nothing more than to jump on Levi at that exact moment. But then what would she do? Just kiss him again? Run her face through his hair? More than anything, she wanted to be everything she could be for the man she was in love with. It was empowering and comforting to know that she called the shots, but she _wanted_ to do all those things for Levi.

"Levi, do you ever think about…all of that, with me?" Cath asked nervously. She always thought it was silly for girls to question their boyfriends on such a topic, of course boyfriends wanted their girlfriends, that's why they date. But being with Levi always threw everything Cath had ever thought or believed out of the window. The love she thought she had with Abel and the one she always imagined with Simon and Baz was nothing compared to the explosive, fluttering, nerve-wrecking butterflies constantly churning in her stomach from Levi.

"Cather! I'm appalled that you even have to ask." Levi exclaimed. Cath was blushing profusely and hiding her face in her pillow, for once she was happy Levi wasn't there, that he couldn't see her.

"If anything, I think about it too much. I try to think about it less and don't really talk about it so that it never comes off as pressuring you. This is completely on your terms. Your thoughts and feelings matter so much more to me than my own selfish wants." Levi reinforced. Cath continued to bury her face into her pillow. Now she was just embarrassed.

"I don't know why I asked. I guess…I don't really know." Cath tried to explain but the whole concept was whirling around her head. Her lame comeback was, "I'm just trying to process everything and figure it all out."

"It sounds like someone just needs a night of rest. Head to bed, Cather. I'll talk to you tomorrow. We're in the final homestretch before I get to see you!"

Levi's genuine enthusiasm was irresistible and Cath couldn't help but smile. All she wanted to do was to make him as happy as possible for as long as she possibly could.

"You might be right. Well, good night, Levi. I love you."

"I love you too, Cath."

The line went dead. Cath laid in bed for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling. An idea had hit her as she bolted out of bed and headed to the bathroom. Wren was still out with some friends and her dad was already in his room for the night. Cath entered the bathroom, turning on the light, and just stared at herself for a moment.

 _Am I really going to do this?_

Cath took several deep breaths before removing her shirt and revealing her simple, black bra. She knew it wasn't much, but it didn't really matter. Levi knew she wasn't the flashy lingerie type. Cath pulled the hair tie out of her always present ponytail and set her glasses on the counter.

 _I really am going to do this._

Cath repositioned herself several times, turning from side to side, switching which arm, deciding where to put it. She finally settled on a simple pose; sitting on the counter, one leg bent at a 45-degree angle, an elbow resting on her knee, with her hand under her chin. Nothing fancy, a classic pose. Several snapshots later, Cath reviewed them all until finally settling on the perfect one.

She had the picture ready to send with the message, 'Will this help with all of those thoughts you're having?'

Cath's finger hovered over the send button. She felt like an idiot. This was so unlike her. Nothing like this happened between her and Abel, let alone any other guy. She hit send.

With her shirt already back on, Cath began pacing the bathroom, eagerly waiting for a response. But what if she never got one?

Her text notification dinged.

" _that helps a little too much"_

" _is that a good or bad thing?"_

" _very good for me, very bad for you…especially if you were here."_

Feeling encouraged, Cath ignored the blush spreading throughout her body and removed her shirt again. This time the bra came with it. She positioned an arm below her breasts, to push them up more and snapped away on the camera again. She once again selected the perfect one and deleted the others. She sent it.

" _a little more help? ;)"_

Cath put everything back on and returned to her room. Her whole body buzzing from excitement, waiting for Levi's response. After a few minutes, her phone dinged.

" _you will be the death of me"_

" _taking this as a compliment?"_

" _you should, you are perfection, Cather Avery"_

" _you're not so bad yourself ;) talk tomorrow, good night"_

" _talking followed by more pics, night!"_

Cath smiled, laying back down into her bed. She had definitely surprised herself. Cath _wanted_ to send more pictures to Levi. She felt confident, sexy even, to know they were having an effect on him. Would Levi do anything like this? Cath had never been one for sexting but now she couldn't wait to try that out with Levi as well. It would make the days without each other a little more bearable, and a whole hell of a lot more fun.


	4. Chapter 4

**I own nothing, everything belongs to Rainbow Rowell!**

 **This and the next chapter will be all about Cath's much awaited visit to Levi's home.**

 **Enjoy**

The day had finally arrived. The two weeks of waiting was finally over and Cath was pacing anxiously around her room. She was so excited that she couldn't even eat dinner. Her dad kept poking fun at her for it and Wren laughed along. They both knew how happy Cath was with Levi and how much she'd been looking forward to this visit.

Levi was picking Cath up from her home, they didn't want to waste any chances to be together. He had already texted Cath that he had finished work and was going to change before heading out to get her. Now he was only about 10 minutes away. Cath's nerves could barely handle it. Her bag was completely packed and sitting at the foot of her bed. Her shoes were already on and laced up. Cath only needed to see Levi's truck pull in, grab the bag, and head out the door. She was that ready.

"Anything exciting planned for this weekend?" Wren asked as she sauntered into their shared room. Jandro was going to be on his way to their house in a few hours to spend the weekend with her.

"I only know that I'm meeting basically his whole family, does that count?" Cath kept looking from Wren to her phone screen, waiting. Wren laughed at her.

"That's exciting in a way. But I mean anything _really_ exciting." Wren sat next to Cath and wiggled her eyebrows at the word 'exciting,' Cath blushed.

"Nothing like that. He's family, especially his mom, is ultra conservative." Cath explained.

"Well that's too bad." Wren huffed and then bumped Cath's shoulder with her own. "Maybe the next weekend!"

Wren hopped off the bed and went to look out the window.

"Well it looks like your knight in shining pickup truck is here! Dad got to him first though." Wren beamed at her. Cath immediately sprung up to her feet and grabbed her bag, heading for the door saying a quick 'bye' to Wren that fell silent behind her as she sped down the hall. She got to the front door to see that Wren was right, there Levi was in all his cargo shorts and flannel glory, talking to their dad. They seemed to be in a deep discussion about their dad's latest product, pet friendly treadmills.

"So fucking Kelly wants us to subtly appeal to the agoraphobics, he's really lost his mind." Cath's dad was shaking his head at the mention of yet another absurd request from Kelly.

"You could use something like, needing a workout buddy when you're stuck exercising from home and just using your dog! Or about it raining and people not wanting to walk their dog and getting all their exercise in." Levi offered, his back was to Cath so he had yet to see her. Cath's dad caught her eye and patted Levi on the shoulder.

"Well, it looks like I should hand you over to the one you really came here to see." Cath's dad walked over to her to hug her good-bye as Levi whipped around and grinned uncontrollably at Cath.

"Cather!" He cheered, moving in to sweep Cath into a hug once her father was done.

They exchanged goodbyes again with her dad and Wren, quickly throwing Cath's bag into the massive truck and leaving the driveway.

They were driving for about a minute when Cath tried to say something and Levi shushed her. The car was quickly heading away from Omaha and becoming more rural. Levi turned off the road and parked in a giant parking lot of a supermarket, confusing Cath. He turned the car off and looked to Cath.

"This is a little weird, but I didn't want to do this in front of your house and really didn't want to wait for over an hour." Levi rushed his words and quickly leaned into Cath when he was finished, putting his mouth onto her own. Hungry was the best way to describe it. His lips seemed to yearn for her. Cath was caught off guard and took a minute to realize what was happening, but quickly closed her eyes and kissed him back. Something was different about this kiss. It was more frantic, more urgent, more lustful. Cath had never taken into effect what would change in their relationship from the last night they had spent together, or even from sending the pictures.

Now she had her answer. Levi was getting more of Cath and he clearly wanted even more. The thought made her stomach flip as she pressed her mouth onto his harder and filled her hands with fistfuls of his hair. Levi let out a soft moan in reaction to the slight pull coming from his head and licked his tongue along Cath's upper lip, testing the waters before diving in. Cath opened her mouth more, granting access to him. She could feel his hot, wet tongue gliding and caressing along the roof of her mouth and along her own tongue. God, she had missed him.

Cath pulled away shortly after, not wanting things to get too hot in the car, and they were both breathing heavily in the aftermath.

"I've missed you so much, Cath." Levi crooned as he slid the back of his hand down her cheek. She smiled back at him, causing his grin to grow even wider. Levi turned the key in the ignition again and guided the truck back onto the road.

The drive was a fun one full of stories of what they had been up to, even though they already knew, and a lot of singing, screaming, along with the radio. Cath's cheeks ached from smiling and her sides hurt from laughing, this was the happiest she had been since school let out. Levi was what truly made her happy. The weekend had just started for them but Cath already didn't want it to be over.

The road under the truck went from smooth highway to narrow town road and was now turning onto a bumpy, almost gravely, backroad. Cath knew Levi lived in a small town in the country, but this was an extreme. The drive through the town of Arnold only lasted a few minutes before the truck was twisting and turning down a path that was surrounded by trees and fields. Streetlights were almost nonexistent and the houses were appearing more and more sporadically. Levi turned the truck onto an actual dirt road and as the trees around them flew by, they opened up for a spacious plot of land with a big red barn in the middle, a fenced in field on its left, and a two-story farmhouse straight out of Laura Ingles novel.

"Home, sweet, home!" Levi exclaimed as he threw the truck in park when they reached the top of the driveway. Cath's mouth suddenly went dry and a knot began to form in her stomach, now she had to meet Levi's whole family.

When Levi had to meet Cath's family, she thought of how much simpler a process it was. She had her dad and her sister, that was it. With Levi it was a whole new ballgame. He had both parents, four sisters, and so many more names than Cath ever had to memorize before.

"Can you run me through the list one more time?" Cath asked as she felt her palm begin to sweat as she and Levi held hands and began walking towards the front door. Levi smiled in delight.

"My parents are Marlisse and David. My sisters, in order, are Abigail, Sarah, Rachel, and Rebecca." He explained again, squeezing Cath's hand for reassurance.

"Rachel is my age, Rebecca is in high school, and Abigail and Sarah are both married?" Cath almost had it all down.

"Close. Abigail has been married for a few years and Sarah just got engaged." Levi corrected as he grabbed the door handle. "Ready?"

Cath tried to nod with confidence but that was hard to do when she was also concentrating on not throwing up all over the place.

The couple was soon consumed in hugs by various blonde girls. All of Levi's sisters, except for Abigail, were there to greet her. Sarah was the first to greet Cath.

"Hey!" Sarah borderline squealed, Levi said she was the friendliest, most energetic of the four, the most like Levi. "It's so great to finally meet you, Cath! I'm Sarah."

Rachel was a little more reserved and settled with a handshake.

"I'm Rachel, it's nice finally meet you, Cathy."

"It's just Cath." She cringed at the nickname. Rachel apologized for the mix-up and kept repeating 'Cath, Cath, Cath!' as she walked away. Rebecca was the most distant with giving Cath just a simple wave and a meek 'hey.'

Cath smiled and waved back, trying not to feel too offended. Levi had already warned her that Rebecca didn't do so well around strangers.

Finally, the infamous Marlisse came into the room, flour splattered apron and all. She gave Levi a hug and kissed him on the cheek first before giving Cath a look over.

"Oh Levi, this is her isn't it? Hello Cath, I'm Marlisse in case Levi hasn't told you yet." Marlisse said with a slight accent that made her sound like a Southern Bell. So far she was the only one with any kind of accent.

"Oh, yes! Levi has definitely told me a lot about you. All of you!" Cath tried her best to sound upbeat, likable. She tried to sound like Wren did when they met new people. Wren was always in charge of the introductions. Marlisse and Rachel both looked neutral about Cath's presence while Sarah was practically bouncing with excitement, Rebecca looked as if she'd rather be anywhere else. Marlisse cleared her throat.

"I know it's been a long day and y'all just had such a long drive, let's have some dinner." Marlisse grandly gestured for everyone to follow her into the dining room. They all filed in and Levi pulled out Cath's chair for her. He went to sit next to her but Sarah quickly slid into the seat.

"Uh-uh, little brother! You sit across so that I can get to know Cath over here." Sarah give Cath a wink and shooed Levi to the other side of the table. He sat directly across from Cath and sent her a reassuring, and somewhat apologetic, smile.

Marlisse asked everyone to join hands and pray. Cath let her mind wonder during the prayer, mostly about where Levi's father was and why Rebecca was being so weird around her. Rebecca actually reminded Cath of Reagan quite a bit. Both had a harsh look and seemed very off-putting at first.

"Amen!" Marlisse ended the prayer. The rest of them chimed in when their own 'amen.'

The plates of food began to be passed around. Bowls were filled with mashed potatoes and plates were over flowing with different parts of chicken. Cath was taken aback by the dinner before her, it was so Home & Garden, not to mention huge. If this is what their regular dinners looked like, Cath wondered how Thanksgiving looked. Her family usually ate their dinners out of burrito wrappers and to-go boxes. Sometimes they would cook, but they almost never ate in the dining room. The dinner and family she was surrounded was so cookie-cutter and cliché, that it made Cath a little uneasy.

After a few minutes of silence and eating was when Sarah decided to break the silence.

"So, Cath, how did you and Levi meet?" Sarah asked with pure interest in her eyes as she worked on cutting her chicken. Cath shot a look over to Levi to see that his smile had faded a bit, clearly he had not told them yet and did not quite know how.

"Oh! I was…um…I was Reagan's roommate actually. So we met through her." Cath's voice got quieter during the second sentence. Rebecca's head snapped up at the story and everyone else, except Sarah, experienced a slight pause in their eating. Cath wanted to disappear.

"Well you must be a really great catch to get her approval about this." Sarah smiled and patted Cath on the shoulder. Everyone else at the table laughed, Levi's smile returned, and Rebecca went back to looking sour. Cath was thankful that Levi quickly changed the subject and asked his mother about her knew bible studies group. Cath kept shoveling potatoes in her mouth to avoid talking, but Sarah leaned into her ear.

"Oh, and your secret is safe with me, Magicath." Sarah winked at her as Cath choked on her mashed potatoes slightly. This dinner could not be over soon enough.

After dinner, Rachel and Rebecca went into the music room to practice piano and Marlisse bid them all goodnight as she had to read her scriptures for an hour before falling asleep.

"Levi, be a dear and ask your sisters to show Cath the spare bed when they go to sleep." Marlisse asked of them, her face becoming a little tight over the mention of the sleeping over setup.

After her exit, Sarah also stood up and claimed she was going to see her fiancé.

"I won't tell mom if you don't!" Sarah winked at Levi and then quietly shut the door behind her. Cath looked at Levi questioningly and he smiled at her.

"Every night at this time when mom goes to bed, Sarah walks down the road and her fiancé picks her up so they can spend the night together. He has his own place but mom advocates celibacy in this house and would kill Sarah if she found out." Levi explained.

"But what about the morning? Does your mom ever notice she isn't here?" Cath asked. Levi put his arm around her and she snuggled into his chest. They were alone in the living room now.

"She does her best to be back in time. My mom gets up at a very specific hour. Sometimes we all have to cover for her." Levi stated simply. He was running his hands through her pony tail.

"We all?" Cath was even more confused.

"Me, my other sisters, and sometimes my dad. He thinks since they're engaged that they're adults and can make their own choices." Levi elaborated.

At that moment Cath faintly heard a door open and close, footsteps echoed as they climbed the stairs and another door was opened and shut once more.

"That's dad." Levi said offhandedly. "He's been going to a friend's farm some nights to help them out because they're shorthanded."

Cath leaned into Levi more and wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer to her. No matter how near each other they were, it was never enough. There was no 'enough' to Cath when it came to Levi.

After nearly thirty minutes of talking and snuggling, Levi suggested going to bed. Cath was mildly disappointed to end the night and have to spend it away from him, but agreed nonetheless. They decided to spend a little alone time in Levi's room first.

Levi explained that since there are only three bedrooms in the house. One for his parents, one that Abigail and Sarah originally shared, one the Rachel and Rebecca still shared, and Levi lived in the basement that they furnished for him since he is the only boy.

"Since Abby is gone, it's just Sarah's room. So the spare bed is technically Abby's old one. And since you're sharing a room with Sarah and she obviously isn't here, you have no one to see you crawling into bed late, late at night." Levi said.

"So many siblings…." Cath shook her head. Levi laughed it off and brought Cath into his basement bedroom. It was large and half of it was clearly still used for basement storage, with boxes lining the entirety of one wall and a single sheet hiding them. It had the same feel as Levi's apartment, which immediately put Cath at ease.

"I like it." Cath smiled at Levi. He approached her, wrapping his arms around her and giving Cath a hug. He inhaled deeply, taking her all in.

"I've missed you so much, Cath." Levi sighed. With that simple statement the atmosphere of the room shifted. Cath was suddenly aware of her body and of Levi's, she was also aware of the electricity, the heat, she could practically feel rolling off and pulling them towards each other. She took her glasses off and put them on the nearest stand. Her skin was tingling and she just had to touch him.

Cath put Levi's face in both her hands and pulled him into her. She wasted no time and slid her tongue into his mouth as soon as they made contact. Levi seemed surprised at first but quickly responded, adding his own tongue to dance along with her own. He held on tight to Cath's hips and guided her towards his bed. Levi laid her down gently and positioned himself above her, hovering over her. Cath still was not quite used to this position, it made her feel powerless, out of control, but in this moment she loved it. She loved feeling Levi's weight and body pressing against her own. Loved how she could feel his every move. Instead of it just being them sitting together and kissing, it felt so much more vulnerable and intimate, and so much more dangerous.

Levi's breathing was becoming more ragged and Cath knew hers was no better. His hands were running all over her body as if it was the first time all over again. Up her sides, around her chest, down her back, getting acquainted all over again. His hands rested on that small strip of skin just below her shirt, waiting for permission.

"Please, Levi." Cath managed to breathe out. His hands quickly made their way to her chest, Levi making the slightest moan when they finally made contact with her breasts again. He moaned as if it were a sigh of relief, the oxygen he needed after such a long time of waiting, of holding his breath.

All that Cath could think of was Levi. Think of his lips on hers, his tongue caressing hers, his hands massaging and moving all over her body, and her own hands feeling across his sculpted back. Levi pulled his mouth away and leaned his forehead against Cath's.

"You have been driving me insane, Cather. You're going to be the death of me." Levi claimed staring intensely into her eyes. Cath could see the lust and desire burning in his own pupils. She threw him a smirk and leaned in to suck on his collarbone. Levi clutched onto her back and moaned again into her shoulder as his hips almost reflexively thrusted into her in time with her sucking. Cath gasped at the force of it and felt an unusual tingling in her groin. She went back to kissing Levi, but did not stop his thrusting this time. She was starting to enjoy it.

When the thrusts became more frequent and started to became a little frantic, Cath pulled back slightly.

"Levi, I'm still not ready for…all that, yet." Cath was almost gasping between every word. It killed her to tell Levi to stop but she knew they couldn't do that. Not here, not yet. Levi stopped himself and stared into Cath's eyes.

"Cath…" He said so lovingly. "Can we try something?"

"I mean like; can I do something for you? To make you a little more comfortable? You only need to lay here." Levi suggested. He clearly was yearning to let some release off in some way. Cath knew that if she could do anything to make him feel good, she would. So she nodded.

Levi smiled at her and gave her another kiss.

"If you get uncomfortable, just tell me to stop, okay?" Levi said, giving her another chance to back out. Cath gave her okay once more and Levi adjusted down the bed a little.

Levi began to slide her shorts down a little. Cath's breath caught in her throat and she bit her lip. She'd never let anyone see this before. He slowly slid her bottoms down, giving Cath time to protest if she wanted to, but she _really_ wanted to see what would happen next.

Levi run a hand up and down each of Cath's thighs and placed soft kisses along each one. Cath's body tingled with each sweet, soft kiss. He gently began to rub Cath where no one had ever touched her before. She had to keep reminding herself to breath.

"Is this alright?" Levi asked softly when he hadn't heard from Cath yet. She breathed out an 'uh-huh.'

Cath watched Levi place his right index finger in his mouth and placed it at her entrance, swirling around it. The tingling in her groin that Cath had felt earlier intensified with each touch from Levi. He dipped his finger inside of her. Cath gasped in shock.

"Are you okay?" Levi asked, terrified. His finger was still inside of her, but he wasn't smiling anymore.

"I'm fine." Cath breathed and tried to compose herself. "Just go slow."

He nodded and began to slowly move his finger back and forth, pushing more in with each pump. Cath could feel her body adjusting to the foreignness of it all. Levi swirled his finger around, stretching her. It was such an odd sensation. The feeling didn't hurt, as Cath had expected, but it also wasn't amazing like people always describe it.

As Levi pulled his finger back once more, he slowly pushed his middle finger in as well, stretching Cath's walls to what she considered capacity. She was trying extra hard to regulate her breathing and not hyperventilate. As Cath's body adjusted once more to Levi's fingers, he brought his other hand up and began to apply pressure to Cath's clitoris. She gasped again at the sensation that now was growing even stronger than before, there was the good feeling everyone talked about.

Just as Cath was getting used to the nice sensation of Levi's thumb rubbing her while his fingers pumped in and out, he curls his fingers to hit in time with each rub. A moan, that Cath never thought she could manage, escaped her lips.

Levi, encouraged, continues his motions and places kisses along Cath's thigh. He continues his rhythm, hitting all the right spots at the exact right time. Cath begins to feel a deep burning start build in her stomach.

The feeling frightens her and the haze that clouded her mind ever since they entered the room is suddenly cleared.

"Levi, come kiss me." Cath breathes. He reluctantly pulls away from her thigh and kisses her. As he does so she gently pulls his hands away from her. Levi jerks his face away from Cath and looks scared.

"Did I hurt you? Cath, I am _so_ sorry." Levi apologizes and looks genuinely heartbroken. Cath feels a pang of guilt for doing such a thing to him.

"No, Levi, not at all!" She reassures. "I just don't want to get too carried away, especially with your whole family upstairs."

Levi nods in agreement and pulls her in for a hug.

"At least you have a level head, I can't help myself around you, Cather." Levi mumbles into her shoulder. Cath gives him a chaste kiss on the lips before he shows her to the room she's staying in. They were down there later than she thought as the whole house was quiet. She and Levi have another, much more innocent make-out session in the room before Levi heads for the basement.

"Prepare to get creamed in bowling again tomorrow! Reagan will meet us there around 2." Levi said as the left the room blowing Cath a kiss as he left. She giggled to herself.

Cath quickly changed into her pajamas and falls into bed, exhausted.

Nothing felt better than being surrounded by the world of Levi. Even if they couldn't stay the whole night together, the whole situation still brought Cath peace.

She felt content and she felt loved.

And she wanted nothing more than for this weekend to never end.


	5. Chapter 5

**I own nothing, everything belongs to Rainbow Rowell!**

 **Enjoy**

"Wow. I think your game somehow got even worse since you went back to the city." Reagan teased at Cath after she had finished laughing over Cath's third gutter ball of the game, the game they were only halfway through.

Cath blushed a little. If she hadn't just lived and become friends with Reagan over the past year, Cath would have just let the comment embarrass her and pretend she didn't exist for the rest of the time, but now she was used to Reagan's sarcasm and could almost dish it right back.

"Maybe. Unfortunately, in the city we have a little more to do than cow-tipping and bowling." Cath smirked as she adjusted the shoelaces of the horrendously colored bowling shoes. Levi half-laughs and half-chokes on the beer he was sipping from and Reagan smirks and raises her eyebrow in approval.

"Well, whoever gave you that backbone sure did a good job. You should thank them." Reagan says as takes her hand and starts to pat her own back. "Reagan, you did such a great job on Cather here, you should be proud of yourself!"

Cath rolls her eyes, but smiles at her roommate. Levi continues to disguise his laughter at the girls' banter behind his beer. Reagan returns to her original position and does a dramatic sigh as she rises to grab her ball and bowl.

"Thank you, Reagan! I am _so_ glad that someone around her appreciates me." Reagan continues as she saunters to the line and positions herself to throw. She knocks down seven of the pins. With a satisfied hair flip, Reagan grabs another ball to roll once more.

"I just can't believe you actually referred to yourself in third person, twice!" Levi points out to Reagan as he puts himself in the chair to control the board. Reagan snorts in response.

"What can I say, Cath gained some confidence and I lost some sanity. Sacrifices had to be made."

The game continued in a similar fashion and in the end Reagan and Levi were close, but Levi pulled off a win by just a few points. Cath came in a distant last. Reagan and Levi somehow talked Cath into another game. The events went in a similar fashion but this time Reagan was the victor with Levi happily taking a close second. Cath at least lost this time by only a margin of twenty points.

"Don't worry, Cather, with a little more experience and a lot more practice you'll be great one day!" Levi smiled excitedly at her and placed his arm around Cath's shoulders. The touch of Levi combined with the term 'more experience' made Cath's stomach flutter and then completely flip. Ever since what happened last night, every touch from Levi sent Cath into panic mode. Sure, she was fine when he left Cath in her room last night, but as the night went on and sleep evaded her all she could do was think it over.

Overreacting was definitely the word for it, but Cath couldn't help but make a big deal about it in her mind. Levi had been _inside_ of her. Cath knew that technically wasn't sex, but it's included in the sexually activity category. Was she sexually active now? Does that happen when it was only once? Or is the term applied to when a person plans to do the activity again and again? Did Cath want to do it again?

Through all of her clustered and confusing thoughts, all Cath knew was that she really wanted to do it again. But that was what scared her the most.

Cath knew she wanted more with Levi, to be with him in any and every way possible, but the idea that this was all happening was terrifying for her. This was a whole new world being opened up to Cath. It was a world that people became addicted to. A world where people went to extremes to seek out the end result. A world that lead to the creation of life. This whole realization was weighing heavily on Cath and she didn't know how to make them go away. She knew she was being irrational. Levi would be as kind, caring, and loving as he always was. Cath had all the confidence and trust in the world for Levi, but she couldn't help but have this overwhelming feeling of fear deep within her.

Trying to banish the thoughts into the back of her mind, to be sorted and dealt with for another day, Cath smiled at her boyfriend as the trio made their way to a local diner for an early dinner.

"So how was Marlisse? Is she bolting the doors with chastity belts yet?" Reagan asked as she stirred several packets of sugar into her iced coffee.

"She was actually pretty bearable yesterday, or at least by my standards she was." Levi answered while stirring his own coffee that had just been dosed with creamer. He glanced over to Cath, they had yet to talk about her meeting with his family. Cath cleared her throat.

"Yeah, Marlisse wasn't bad at all. She probably doesn't know what to think of me yet." Cath mumbled as she stared at her glass of water, twisting the straw between her fingers.

"My mom's pretty good at seeing the best side of people, until they prove otherwise." Levi explained, sending a side glance over to Reagan. Levi and Cath were sitting side by side in the booth with Reagan across from them. Cath noticed Reagan becoming a little more focused on her stirring.

"Okay, something definitely happened. Reagan, what did you do?" Cath pressed, fearing the worst. Reagan rolled her eyes, trying to be nonchalant, but Cath could see she was fidgeting a little.

"Remember when I said I broke her in?" Reagan asked, Cath nodded to encourage her. "Well, it wasn't really one incident. It was several and all of them over a long period of time."

"Oh, come on! You aren't going to own up to any of those things?" Levi exclaimed. He seemed to be amused at seeing Reagan in the hot seat for once. Cath had to admit, it was a nice change. She could even swear that Reagan was blushing.

"Fine!" Reagan relented, throwing her spoon onto the counter. She then let out a deep, dramatic sigh.

"I'm pretty sure the first prominent instance was when we were thirteen. I was over at the farm to swim because it was so fucking hot out. Marlisse wasn't home, only Levi and Sarah were so technically I wasn't supposed to be there. Well, _of course_ she gets home early to find me and Levi in the pool alone together, with me wearing an improper two-piece bikini, with a bellybutton ring that I had gotten for my birthday. That was the first or when I broke some of her china dishes when I was ten."

Reagan crossed her arms and huffed back into her booth after the story. Cath sat to wait and hear the rest but nothing more was said.

"That's it? How could she get super upset from him just breaking one rule?" Cath looked over to Levi who happened to be looking extremely smug.

"Oh, she is forgetting a crucial detail from this story." Levi smiled at Cath, very much enjoying this. Reagan groaned and hit her head onto the table, leaving it there to hide her face.

"Alright, I'll finish the story. When my mom got home, I was actually underwater trying to do a handstand and I guess Reagan decides that's the perfect time to readjust her swimming suit. So my mom walks to the pool in time to see us alone and with Reagan completely topless."

Levi laughs at the end of the story and Cath can't help but stifle a giggle as Reagan groans again.

"The first person to see my boobs was Marlisse." Reagan grumbles into the table. At that point Cath and Levi loose it and are leaning on each other for support from laughing.

"Was that the only instance or were there more?" Cath asks after she can finally compose herself.

"There is _definitely_ more. After that it was a collection of getting band memorabilia with profanities on them, making me break curfew, when she saw Reagan's tattoo for the first time; but the other huge moment is one I think she should tell you about." Levi explained as he gestured over to Reagan. She huffed as she poured more ketchup onto her fries.

"Was this lovely visit just to shit on me and bring up all of my embarrassing moments? Because so far I much rather would've stayed home and watched Netflix than come grace you with my presence."

"Alright. Enough about Reagan and Marlisse." Cath put her hands up, trying to defuse the situation. A grumpy Reagan was not what she wanted right now.

"She was actually the least of my worries. The sisters were the ones who really surprised me." Cath explained. Reagan looking taken aback.

"Really? What happened?" She asked. It was Cath's turn to sigh.

"Well for starters, Sarah was the most excited. Although, she did oddly know about my stories." Cath threw a death glare towards Levi who put his hands up in an innocent gesture and smiled.

"That was actually not my doings, Cather. Turns out when Sarah went through her Simon Snow phase she read fanfiction, _your_ fanfiction. When I told her your name and that you wrote stories, she made the connection." Levi explained. He subtly slipped a hand under the table and squeezed Cath's knee to calm her down. Cath's stomach rolled once more. The hand was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

"It's still very embarrassing," Cath pointed out. "Other than that, Rachel seemed pretty neutral all night, but Rebecca was weirdly…cold about everything."

Reagan took a long sip of her iced coffee.

"Rachel has always been super laid-back so don't get too turned off by her. Rebecca on the other hand, is a different story." Reagan explained as she and Levi shared another look. Cath raised an eyebrow at them as she took a bite of her sandwich.

"Rebecca will probably be…difficult, for a while." Levi said, scratching the back of his head. Cath realized a small strip of skin poked out from the bottom of Levi's shirt when he stretched like this. She wanted to touch that skin.

"Why do you say that?" Cath asked as she forced herself to tear her eyes off of Levi's abdomen, they were still out with Reagan after all.

"Let's just say that Rebecca got a little attached to me over the years." Reagan offered as she finished the last few bites of her food.

"That's an understatement. It was like Rebecca had all these sisters to help her out and be a role model for her, but she didn't want any of them. Abby is just so much older than her and always preoccupied with something different. Sarah and I were the two siblings always hanging out. The family just assumed that naturally she and Rachel would stick together, but they never did." Levi clarified and Reagan nodded.

"I didn't even mean to, I would just talk to her when I was over and I guess she would look up to me. Then with going to college, I was around a little less often and after, you know, the breakup I was around even less." Reagan added. She and Levi kept looking at Cath's face for her reaction.

It made sense now. Rebecca had been hoping that Levi would get back together with Reagan. Cath being in the picture meant that wouldn't be happening soon, so now Levi's youngest sister resented Cath.

Well that just wasn't fair.

Cath brushed it off and the trio finished up their dinner together before dropping Reagan off at her house. The ride between her and Levi went disturbingly quiet. It was only disturbing because Cath knew that if Levi was quiet, something was on his mind. As Cath raced through her mind to find something to say, Levi made a turn off of the road and into a parking lot for a park. Even though it was summer, the park was surprisingly empty. Levi cut the engine and the only sound filling the silence between them was now gone. Cath started to feel anxious.

"Cather…" Levi started and then stopped, running his hand through his blonde hair. His hair was longer now, covering the receding hairline, but with this move, Cath was reminded of its presence. Levi continued to pull on the blonde locks before gripping the steering wheel with both hands.

"Will you just talk to me, please? And tell me what's wrong?" Levi's wide, concerned eyes on his nonsmiling face seemed to be slicing into Cath, cutting away at her insides and pleading with her. The hurt on his face made her throat instantly tighten, she had to blink several times before answering.

"What? Levi, nothing is wrong. I don't know where any of this is coming from." Cath confessed. She really had no idea. Did she say something at dinner that was inappropriate? Cath hadn't thought so; she only spoke truthfully about what exactly had happened the night before. Levi ran a hand through his hair again.

"It's just that, last night I thought we were really connecting, when we were in my room?" Cath's stomach fluttered just at the thought of it.

"Everything _seemed_ fine this morning, but you haven't touched me at all today. You wouldn't hold my hand; you've barely even looked at me. Did I do something wrong? I told you to tell me if you were uncomfortable because this isn't how I want this to go where we have a great time together and then this…awkwardness!" Levi confessed as he stared out of the windshield, not looking at Cath.

How could this have happened? All Cath had done was think of last night every free second her mind had. In the midst of relishing and thinking of the whole experience, she had somehow forgotten to include Levi in her thought process. Now here he was thinking that Cath was upset, or even hurt by him. Cath immediately felt angry with herself for leaving Levi in the dust.

"Levi, I am so sorry. That isn't what it was at all!" Cath explained. She took Levi's face into her hands and turned him to look at her.

"I can't get last night out of my head. I've been thinking about it all day, in a good way!"

Levi sighed, leaning his cheeks into Cath's hands. He looked at the ground before coming back to Cath's eyes.

"Did I hurt you? Just please tell me what's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" Levi pleaded as he gave off the saddest little smile.

"Levi, you scare me. Every time you touch me takes me right back to last night. I'm afraid of the way I react to you and it's like my body is going through this whole new change and I can't slow it down, not when it comes to you. Does that make sense?" Cath explained adding a smile at the end, trying to ease Levi of his stress. It seemed to have worked as he finally breaks into a genuine, small smile.

"I understand, Cather. We need to have these conversations. If you're afraid of not being able to slow things down, I can help. We'll keep each other in check until the timing is right. We're in this together." Levi admits as he takes hold of Cath's wrist and gently puts his lips over her pulse. The gesture instantly makes Cath's heart start to race.

 _We._ It felt good to be a 'we' with Levi. Cath felt almost indestructible knowing that she had him on her side. She never wanted the two of them to not be a 'we.'

Cath could feel the yearning sensation begin, deep within her. She leaned across the center console to put her mouth on Levi's. All the anxiety, all the fear, melted away the instant they were connected. These moments when they were together were the ones that made her so confident in their actions together They made her want to be with Levi, to be sexually active, to have sex with him. These small, blimps of a moment justified everything and trumped all the fear.

Levi's lips were a warm welcome on Cath's. As their mouths opened, their tongues collided, danced with each other. But there wasn't any urgency. Levi moved one hand to the back of Cath's head and the other to the small of her back. Cath kept hers on Levi's face, occasionally moving it down along his neck and then back up again.

It was a different kind of kiss. Their mouths were open, but only enough to allow their tongues to explore one another. It was as if they were just breathing each other in, surviving off one another. This kiss filled Cath with more emotion than any other had. It made her feel more than loved, it made her feel adored.

When they pulled apart, Cath realized that the tears had fallen from her eyes and onto her cheeks. Levi always had her so emotional. He brushed the tears away with his thumb.

"Cather, are you alright? Why are you crying?" Levi looked at her, concern was clear on his face.

Cath just smiled and shook her head.

"I just really love you." Cath smiled, giving off a small laugh. Levi smiled back and wrapped her in a well-needed hug. They stayed like that for who knows how long, but eventually broke apart and shared one last, chaste kiss before Levi turned the truck back on. Levi grabbed her hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles.

"By the way, I really love you too." Levi said, giving off a huge smile. He put the truck in drive and pulled back onto the road. They held hands the rest of the drive back, Cath had never felt more content in her life.


End file.
